Father's Day has passed and many had the opportunity to celebrate with the one guy who made it possible to be here. It's a great feeling to have your Father around but as I tried to celebratebeing a relatively new Dad, I couldn't help but think about all of the comments about absent Fathers and dead beat dads going around the social networks and radio stations. It made me think introspectively about my own Father, Warner McKinley Campbell who we affectionately called: "Rock".
Rock was a man's man. He was hard on the outside and just as tough on the inside. His way of showing love was to grab you and give you a kiss on the top of the head or say; "you know I love you, son!" This probably seems a little cold to most but it was Rock's way. There was never a moment in my childhood that I didn't feel safe around my Dad. He was always putting things in a way that made you think about what your actions. He wasn't a small man by any means. He stood about 6'2" and weighed about 240 and all muscle. He needed that frame to deal with the mean streets as a Chicago Cop for 32 years. His approach was in your face and I undoubtedly inherited that honestly (although I don't like to admit it.) Dad was the epitome of tough love. He didn't budge an inch and what he said was Gospel. My sister and I dared not question his authority let alone his decisions or there would be definite consequences. Don't get me wrong, Dad was not an abusive Father. He didn't have to be. His "look" and his deep voice was enough to make you feel the earth move beneath your feet. The simple call of my name made shivers come down from my soul and instantly have my mind racing as to what I may have done to have him call me. But with all of that, I can honestly only remember one (1) old school spanking in my life. That's really all I ever needed. His mental game was crucial and would rival any Jedi Master in the universe. Like I said, Dad wasn't the most soft and cuddly Father in history but you knew he loved you and he loved you deeply. Whatever man I am today is because of his foundation. I only wished the Chicago landscape with all of its decay and dregs of society wouldn't have worn on him as badly as they did. He was a heavy drinker and ultimately that was his exit strategy. He was gone way too soon for me. I had and continue to have so very much to ask him about manhood. I am figuring this out as I got and I know if he was around it would be a lot easier. I don't fault him at all. Dad did what he needed to protect us from his daily dealings with people who lived to make stress for regular folks and it took a guy like Rock to handle them. Who wouldn't find that a tough situation to be in?
I don't have any ill feelings Dad, I love you and I cherish all the moments we DID have together. I still remember your words: "Be a man of your word. If you say you are going to do something, Do it. If you find you are unable, have the balls to tell the person you can't and then find a way to make it right." I've lived by that creed all my life an it has done me well.
As I sat back to cherish my Dad, I couldn't help but think about all of the men and women, boys and girls, wives and girlfriends who don't have their dads to celebrate. I couldn't help but think about those same people who might take their fathers for granted and never reach out to say "Thank you" or "Dad I really appreciate you and I love you." To me, this is a great injustice not only to the dad but to you. We always can find the energy to find fault in fathers for what they may have not done or what they should have done but we have to remember they are human beings FIRST. It takes a lot to take care of oneself let alone to assure the existence and prosperity of another person. Sometimes LIFE gets overwhelming and we falter. I am not excusing the sperm donors because if you make them you should take care of them and taking care doesn't necessarily cost money. But I am saying that the pressures of Life can be really cruel to one person.
I only wish Dad was able to see his four grandchildren. They could definitely have benefited from his presence. I wish my own daughter could have him around to play with and to kiss on like she does me. She knows about him and sees his picture and even knows his birthday but she has never met him. I think about this every Father's Day because there are some things only a Dad can do. I try to be that Dad who will be in all the kid's lives as a father figure and as a dependable person who they can look up to as a positive example of LOVE and UNDERSTANDING and GOD fearing. I want them to know this is what their Grandfather was like and in knowing ME they know HIM.
So this Father's Day, I want to say; "Dad, I appreciate you for all you've sacrificed for me and my sister and my mother. I love you deeply and I want you to know I'm doing my very best to take care of the family like you taught me. I'm following in your footsteps and I'm living an honest and productive life Thanks to you and your guidance."
Kiss your Father's if you can but most importantly, tell them you appreciate them for being human and doing their best to try to make you safe, secure and loved. That will mean more to a Dad than taking them out to dinner or a tie. Dads are unique individuals they feed and thrive off of LOVE!
-Peace and Live Long and Prosper.
Chicago Jedi
